My Adventures with
Personal Stories of Working with Subtle Energies
In Dec of 2010, a Spiritual Being by the name of Raul visited me during a meditation. This is someone I have not even thought about, let alone communicated with since well over a decade. In fact, I did not even recognize him or his energy, even though he had been rather instrumental over a decade ago. Back then, he entered my life quickly and in a great deal of urgency, almost mandating a relocation with some major life changes that I was resisting. In a manner of a few weeks, everything in my life changed and fell in "topsy turvey".
But this time, the situation for his visit was very different; he wanted to ask me a question. He wanted to give me the opportunity to forget that period of turmoil, chaos, and strife that resulted from the time line changes, and with it, the opportunity to heal from that experience. This process of forgetting would remove the memories and hurt from those unexpected changes and events. It would be like they would be washed clean from my mind and I would no longer would carry those memories and trauma within me. It would be a type of white-washing.
In a flash, I could see all those events; the chaos, sacrifice, struggle, and hurt rush through my mind. The flashback reminded me of the experience people report who have a near death experience and they say that in an instant they see their life flash before them. It was like that; I could see those events roll quickly through my mind.
I could also see that with the forgetting, my understanding of why things are the way they are and why some people are different than those I used to know would also disappear. I wouldn't have that understanding. I would not have that history; it would be blank.
I also thought about the value of having those memories; lessons that I learned and how I changed and grew through that chaos. All of these thoughts happened in a twinkling moment of time, too.
I then declined Raul’s offer.
I recognized in that flash of talking with Raul, that keeping the pain with that deep, deep crevice and scar is balanced with knowledge, wisdom, and an unbelievable history. I think there is value in knowing everything is not magically solved but requires those who are willing to make deep sacrifices. This is just how it is. To cover that over and make it disappear takes away a valuable life lesson and understanding.
The crevice of pain has left an imprint on me that will last forever but I now recognize it has value. Perhaps if I had been given this choice years ago, I would have said yes and asked for the pain and memory to be whitewashed clean. But now that I feel re-balanced in my life, I can see the importance of what is sitting on that other side of my life scale.
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